Bill & Sandy Fifield Artist - Authors - Speakers

“Love Boat”

As I sit here on the “Love Boat” holding Sandy’s hand on my last day of chemo, I am overwhelmed with gratitude and compassion.  Everyone here is hurting or dying and most are scared to death.  To be in a position to reach out, to be an example of the positive, to touch them, to listen to their stories is a gift that has to be experienced. Since we are in the same “boat” approaching them is easy.   I give them each a card with the magic words and they light up.  It’s a feeling of a joyful planting, knowing that only good can come from a positive act, no matter how small.

It has taken twenty years to get here.  From the absolute nadir of despair to a life of happy, joyous freedom at first has to take a lot of effort.  The habit of a lifetime took some doing to turn to a different direction. Automatic negative thinking and a curious twist of the mind made being useful in any way almost impossible.   Everything seemed to be screwed and I thought I liked it like that.   I didn’t realize that just because my reaction was automatic doesn’t mean it wasn’t a decision.   I thought I was a victim of my circumstances; I didn’t know that I had a choice.  Being a victim keeps me from a life of true freedom; it prevented me from experiencing the wondrous rewards of performing a simple act of kindness.  To see people light up, to respond, and to see that spread across the room fills my heart with joy.

 How long was I asleep? I didn’t know I was asleep until I woke up.  Only then was it possible to realize the fact of my previous unconsciousness.  Now that I am aware of my judgment, I have a choice.  I stand at the crossroads with the knowledge that my choices can lead me to true freedom.  I am free to choose any way I want only now I am asked to report the results.  Sometimes I still choose the dark and the result is always the same; it tastes awful, it’s physically painful and it makes me feel sick.   There is nothing of value in it yet I pursue it as if it was a treasure.  The only thing of real value is the spiritual principles (the magic words on the card): Acceptance, open-mindedness,
willingness, honesty, love, forgiveness, harmony, truth, faith, hope, light,and joy.

So here’s to all you passengers on the “Love Boat” and to the wonderful nurses who bring compassionate, loving care to each and every one of us, I hope we were able to enrich your lives as much as you enriched ours.

God bless you all—no exceptions!

Bill

  • http://WWW.LNCONTRACTORS.COM PAM LOWE

    HI BILL & SANDY: I WANTED TO SEND YOU WARM THOUGHTS & PRAYERS AS YOU TRAVEL THROUGH THESE TIMES. I THINK OF YOU OFTEN, AND PRAY FOR YOU ALWAYS. I PRAY THESE TREATMENTS CONTINUE TO TOUCH YOU, HEAL YOU, BRING YOU UP AND THROUGH TO NEW BEGINNINGS. YOU TRULY HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART, HAVE SHARED SUCH WISDOM, LOVE, AND JOY IN SO MANY FOLKS LIVES, AND IN MY LIFE, I AM CHANGED FOREVER IN KNOWING YOU BOTH. I WANTED TO SEND UP SOME SPIRITUAL STRENGTH, HOPE, LOVE, AND THOUGHTS YOUR WAY, THAT GOD HAS YOU RIGHT IN THE PALM OF HIS HANDS, HE IS HOLDING ON TO YOU, AND YOU HIM, AND YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS, I JUST KNOW IT. HANG IN THERE, BE STRONG, BREATHE, JUST BREATHE. I LOVE YOU BILL, I LOVE YOU SANDY…GOD BE WITH YOU BOTH ALWAYS. IF YOU NEED ANYTHING AT ALL, PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL ME. WITH LOVE PAMELA 303-725-6828 BE BLESSED, BE WELL MY FRIENDS

  • http://Tammiotis.com Tammi o

    Lovely, as always, bill! I just keep telling myself “I AM love”. It’s working, albeit slowly…………I still hate slow drivers in the passing lane. Thinking of you daily! Xoxo

  • Steve

    Glad to hear that you are doing better Bill. Keep fighting the good fight . . . Always, Steve

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