“Life will take on new meaning. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience you must not miss….” The Big Book, page 89
It is my experience that when we are done with the 12 Steps, the 12 Traditions and the 12 Concepts the best thing I can do is praise, compliment, encourage and bless. The protégé/student is responsible for their own practice. I am responsible for giving them the best possible understanding of the 12 Step process that is in my power to give. My job is to produce another sponsor. However, everyone is free to do this in any way they wish; all that is asked is to report the results of what they are doing.
About one-half who do this refuse to do what is asked and end up back in the quicksand. The 12 Steps are so powerful that it can take up to five or six years to fall back into the obsession. When that happens, hopefully they make it back to admit that they are powerless and if they come back to me, I take them through the Steps again using everything new I have learned. In one case this has happened nine times and the man is once again out running and gunning in his addiction. He refuses to sponsor or do service/volunteer work on a regular basis. My response is “God bless him, I celebrate his journey.” He will face the consequences of his actions.
Since the human condition is fundamentally lazy and selfish, it’s no wonder that addicts/obsessives find the process difficult to do. The spiritual awakening is the realization that I am responsible for me; that I am the author of my life. Once the garbage is cleared away and the lie is exposed (the lie is that I am not good enough to deserve anything good) the cross road appears. It was never
visible before. Now I get to choose—do I go to the left or the right; do I choose selfishness or service; do I choose to be the gangster or Santa Claus?
Today I choose to be the gift. As it turns out, it is easier to give than to take. If I give, I find myself standing in a river of abundance. If I take, nothing will be left but hate, resentment and fear.
So, never criticize, judge, fault-find, or blame. That does nothing but destroy. Go, Be the Gift.