At first I missed the miracle because it wasn’t what I wanted. All the cancer was supposed to be gone. When this wasn’t the case I was disappointed and frustrated. It took a minute to actually sink in. “What did you say? What were the results?” The cancer was stopped in its tracks. There was no new growth and what there was had receded by ¼ to ½ . The doctor couldn’t believe it. For the first time since we met she brightened up. She smiled and almost hugged me. She seemed shocked by the outcome of the PET scan. Her experience is that the usual outcome for cancer like mine is 180° from what we were now seeing. A medical miracle!
For some reason the universe wants me on the love boat for four more rounds of chemo. I may or may not find out that reason but I have found out that if I participate with joy, the outcome is always positive. A positive action cannot have a negative result; that’s the law.
Once again I am startled by my expectations. How long before I can let what is just be? What a great adventure! As I practice creating a space between myself and my reaction to events; I am amazed at how everything that enters my life is for my benefit. This understanding is starting to enter my heart and is changing everything. To joyfully and willingly receive what comes is not my first thought; it was not even possible until I started to wake up. As the awakening progressed so did a creeping horror. My God, I’ve been wrong about almost everything for most of my life. I had been stuck on just one possibility for any given circumstance instead of realizing the Universe provides an infinite number of possibilities for each and every moment. So, to literally have an experience without all the baggage I used to carry around with me brings a peace and clarity I didn’t know existed.
To drop right or wrong, to drop good or bad makes it possible for me to make an honest evaluation and analysis of any situation. Every moment in my life is a gift custom made
for me. Ya, but I don’t want my gift! How funny, as if I knew what was good for me. This journey goes on, with or without my approval. When I embrace it, my days are filled with peace and abundance. When I don’t, there is frustration and bewilderment. Let the river flow. I used to think I wanted to know what was going to happen. Why? To
ease my troubled mind? No—It was so I could mess with it!
God bless you, I love you
Bill