Bill & Sandy Fifield Artist - Authors - Speakers

“Good News”

After nearly 3 months of constant care, I got to watch as Bill jumped into our SUV and drove off to a men’s retreat in Estes Park for the whole weekend.   I was invited to come along to act as nurse but his eyes and stamina have been steadily getting better and better during this last month and he wanted to do it all by himself.  I felt such bittersweet relief that we had made it to this point.

Last week we went for a follow up MRI to see if the fourteen days of whole brain radiation treatments were successful in stopping the growth of the tumor that was left in his brain after surgery.  We sat in the surgeon’s office anxiously awaiting the results.  As the good Dr.Vollmer looked at the images on the computer monitor, he did a double take as he looked at the screen,  then brought up the original MRI to check what he was seeing.  Sure enough the small (pea-sized) tumor was gone—no visible trace left—and the shadows of the larger (egg-sized) tumor that had been removed were virtually non-existent.  With restrained optimism he expressed his pleasure with the results and said that we will do a follow-up MRI in three months.

Now, two more cycles of chemo and the lung lesion (unwanted guest) will be in the cosmic dump as well.   The prayers and love from all our friends are doing the job.  The chemo makes Bill’s mouth taste like he’s been sucking on a penny.  His appetite is one-half of what it was and that one-half is tinged with nausea, so we’ve been on a nostalgia recipe kick.  How about some meatloaf with mashed potatoes, pork steak with corn, tuna casserole with potato chips, and root beer floats?  Good grief—it’s like being transported back to our childhoods in the fifties!

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“The Portals of Creation”

 Art has always been magical to me even as a child. I remember watching my dad paint. I watched the images appear as he sipped his Swiss Colony sauterne.  It was like being in an alchemist’s workshop; there was secret and forbidden knowledge.  He seemed to be able to go places nobody else did; he stood at the portals of creation.

 There was never any doubt in my mind about what I wanted to do and be.  Being able to stand at the portals of creation without fear seemed to be the trick.  I didn’t realize until much later that he gave that gift to me very early on. The way it looked to me was that alcohol fueled and was necessary to the process.   At first it worked beautifully and when drugs entered the equation, I went even further out—right on the razors edge.  The Universe was laid out before me.  Everything I saw and read reinforced this belief.   Look at all the awesome psychedelic art pouring out of the hippies.  There were paintings, sculptures, posters, crafts, music, and performance.  And look at history—Jackson Pollack, Gauguin, and Toulouse-Lautrec, all great artists and drunks.   And–the most compelling evidence of all–my own studio full of incredible works of art.

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